She paused at the door and turned to take one last look at the place she had called home for so many years. Though every last detail had already been packed into boxes and taken away, all she could see was everything she had finally learned to leave behind.
Rolling mists sweep in
With the dawn, filling the air
With untold secrets.
Hiding the tears in her eyes, she smiled and looked away.
And in that smile, for the very first time, all that he could see were the walls he had once hoped she would never need to put up, and wondered how long they had actually been there without being noticed.
As tides rise and fall,
Surely as the seasons change,
Chapters of my life.
There were no monsters under my bed that night. No demons keeping me awake. The shadows dancing across my ceiling were, surprisingly, only shadows. Sleep came easily to me and i welcomed it.
In fact, there were no monsters lurking in any of our rooms that night. For on that night the beasts were gathering in a cloud outside in the darkness. And in our beds, blinded by the promise of a single night’s peace, we were wrapped snugly in the calm before our most fearsome storm and rocked gently to sleep before it tore our sky in two.
None of us stirred when the air shifted restlessly and grew thick with menace, or when the changing winds grew violent in the distance. Not a sound could be heard. Not the surprised howling of the air, not the trees being torn aggressively from side to side, not the singular piercing strike of lightning that brought an end to the storm’s rage, or even the deafening thunder that filled the night and lingered in the sudden cold silence.
No, none of us witnessed the storm they brought, nor do we know how far it was from where we lay. We only know that we rose with confusion from our beds the next morning to lives that would be forever fractured, strewn in the aftermath of an act both so senseless and so calculated that it left barely a trace of what it came to take.
….. only his bed, still perfectly made….. his closet still filled with clothes…. His car parked, abandoned, in a strange part of town…. And a search that has never ended.
She closed her eyes and surrendered at last to the sky as it gently wrapped midnight around her and delicately put her back among the stars.
Let’s dance beneath the night sky, love
As the stars dedicate us a tune
The universe is yours and mine, love
Let’s celebrate by the light of the moon
My future is mapped in your eyes, love
And I won’t be low when this night is through
For only when I greet the sunrise, love
Will I believe that this dream came true
(To Alexander and Sasha on their Wedding Day)
I remember having this conversation with you once before, only you weren’t around that time.
It played out alot like this too, with me at my desk, not looking up until you moved towards me with the increasing momentum of a meteor entering Earth’s gravitational field. You even blotted out the sun momentarily before the devastation began. All I could do was give you this same pleading look, hoping you would reconsider the pending outburst due to the crowd of people meters away.
Ah. just like that time…No… such.. luck..
As you narrow your eyes and suck air in through your snarl, I don’t need to look around to know that everyone is watching us. I brace for impact.
As predicted, your well-prepared speech begins and your voice is like a crack of lightning across a silent sky. It causes all of us to flinch involuntarily and stare at you without blinking or closing our mouths properly again. I feel myself staring stupidly at you as you release the same verbal avalanche on me that many of the onlookers have been ploughed over by before. The words “useless” and “braindead” are screeched in higher pitches, and my inability to collate reports and serve coffee while it’s still hot are highlighted. I feel the room filling with the sympathy of my colleagues.
Now, when I played this out previously, this is not how this conversation went. In THAT one, I cut you off midsentence with a steely glare and my most level tone of voice. It was brilliant. I reminded you that I am not your fucking assistant just because I have breasts, and that I rewrote your entire report for you because it was a load of crap that would cost us that client. The boss was in earshot, too, which you hadn’t realised until I pointed him out. I closed my retaliation by telling you to make your own coffee and watch your mouth around my workspace.
Yes, we have had this conversation before, and you should have been there that time. You don’t get to hear any of that now. Instead, I’m quietly enduring this nipple-twisting and nodding numbly at everything you say until you run out of steam and finally fuck off.
Everyone takes great care to not look at me once you’re gone. I miserably eat the rest of my Rolos and flash forward to our next conversation. You won’t be around for that one either. Pity…. that’s the one where I admit that your badly collated report had the word “cuntcake” hidden in it…… and that cold coffee I served you was laced with laxatives.